Today's Top Ten

Rules to Dining in America

10. Tip. Tip at least 15%. 20% is great, but anything less than 15% is a slap in the face.
09. Don't wave your arm at your server from across the restaurant. That's rude. We are constantly on the move. Your server will walk by you for you to stop him or her. I doubt that whatever it is you need is that urgent.
08. If you don't speak English, have someone with you who does.
07. If you don't speak English and have no one with you who does, don't get mad at me for not speaking whatever language it is you do speak.
06. If you don't speak English and have no one with you who does, don't be rude to me. I'm doing you a service. And I have access to your food and drink.
05. Tip at least 15%. If you don't know this rule, do some research before you leave your country.
04. If you are American and know the tipping rules and yet still only tip $5 regardless of your check, don't dine at my restaurant. Go to McDonald's where $5 can get you a lot more.
03. Unless otherwise specified, don't seat yourself. We have a system and you mess it up when you just sit wherever you want.
02. Please don't ask me where the restrooms are when my arms are full of food. I'm en route to a table. And a bucket of shellfish is heavy and hot.
01. TIP YO SERVER! Unless you're in California, servers are making much less than minimum wage and your tips are how we make our money. If you can't afford to tip, just don't come in.